


Fallen Rose Petals

by lavendersun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Seijoh - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:07:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavendersun/pseuds/lavendersun
Summary: The message was left on read, and for a moment, all Oikawa felt was numb. This couldn't be real. This was just a bad dream. He would wake up the next morning and go to school and fall into Iwaizumi's open arms.But he knew that wasn't true. He knew that it was over and it was all his fault. He knew that the only comfort he would have for the rest of the night was the glowing stars on his ceiling and the silly alien plushies Iwaizumi had given him.He laid back on his bed, on his dumb space-ship covered sheets. His pillows still carried the faint scent of Iwaizumi, and that scent brought back an overflow of memories. Memories of them laying in this very spot, wrapped in each other's arms, laughing at something nobody else in the world would understand.His heart was decaying, shriveling like a rose and turning to worthless dust. He was empty.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	Fallen Rose Petals

Oikawa had gone through many breakups. Most of them had been easy and one-sided, with a girl sobbing and screaming while he stood by, utterly unaffected. He hadn't been attached to those girls, and their names drifted out of his memory quite quickly.

He wasn't sure if this was a breakup, but whatever it was, it wasn't easy.

It had started a few hours ago when he was lounging in bed, texting the team group chat. As usual, he was joking around, and at an opportunity to embarrass Iwaizumi, he took it. Iwaizumi, unsurprisingly, was pissed and made it into a big deal. Oikawa had giggled and texted Iwaizumi separately, telling him he was being dramatic. But Iwaizumi didn't let it go.

The first thing he had said that wounded Oikawa was that Oikawa was an annoying brat. It wasn't exactly the first time he had said that, but he usually said it in a joking manner. 

**Oikawa:** if i'm an annoying brat then why do you even bother

**Iwa-Chan <3: **honestly i don't even know.

**Oikawa:** seriously? wtf?

**Iwa-Chan <3: **i tell you not to do things but then you go and do them anyway. it's fucking annoying

**Oikawa:** i was joking around, iwa. i didn't mean to upset you 

**Iwa-Chan <3: **i told you to stop and you didn't listen. it's annoying.

**Oikawa:** you know what? that's fucking annoying. i'm doing my best to give you everything you want iwaizumi. im always trying to make you happy. and then all you ever say is just "you're so annoying".

**Iwa-Chan <3: **bullshit. you know i don't actually mean that. but whatever

**Oikawa:** fine, whatever. even with that, you literally never make an attempt to show you care about me

**Iwa-Chan <3: **you know that's not true. i'm doing my best for you oikawa. i'm trying to split time between honors classes and volleyball and my family and you. it's not easy.

**Oikawa:** then why do you shut me down everytime i try to help you?

**Iwa-Chan <3: **because i can do it on my own. and you have enough to worry about without adding my problems to the list

**Oikawa:** im your boyfriend. don't say shit like "don't worry about my problems". 

**Iwa-Chan <3: **alright, fine. but why do you always brush me off whenever i ask about yours?

**Oikawa:** why does it matter

**Iwa-Chan <3: **everytime i ask about your parents you just ignore it and tell me not to worry about them. why can't you just let me be involved in your life Oikawa?

**Oikawa:** alright, fine. i send you away because my parents are homophobic, Iwaizumi. 

**Iwa-Chan <3:** why didnt you tell me that Oikawa?

**Oikawa:** everytime i try to talk to you it's all "you're so annoying shittykawa"

**Iwa-Chan <3: **i wouldn't have said that, Oikawa. that's serious.

**Oikawa:** you don't get it Iwaizumi. everyday i have to worry that they'll find out and disown me. if they found out, they'd throw me out and they wouldn't help me get through college. they'd hate my guts. and then on top of that you probably wouldn't have wanted me.

**Iwa-Chan <3: **i wouldn't have left you over something like that.

**Oikawa:** maybe i should've been the one to leave

**Iwa-Chan <3: **what??

**Iwa-Chan <3: **what the fuck are you saying?

**Oikawa:** i could've left this relationship

**Iwa-Chan <3: **don't say shit like that.

**Oikawa:** i love you but im scared iwaizumi

**Iwa-Chan <3:** maybe it's for the best then

**Oikawa:** what?

**Iwa-Chan <3: **i love you so much. but i couldn't live with myself knowing that i was the reason your parents disowned you. i'm sorry tooru.

**Oikawa:** wait what?? iwaizumi??

**Iwa-Chan <3: **i'm breaking up with you oikawa

Oikawa took a shuddering breath, staring down at the words in shock. Six words. Six words that made his entire world crumble to pieces. He knew this was his fault. He knew he shouldn't have said some of the things he did. But he hadn't wanted this. Shakily, he lifted his phone again.

**Oikawa:** hajime?

**Iwa-Chan <3: **we can go back to being just friends. the only thing that has to change is our relationship. we're not going to be more than friends.

**Oikawa:** i don't want that. you don't want that. I can't just be your friend Iwaizumi.

**Iwa-Chan <3: **then we won't be friends. we'll be teammates and that's it. the season will be over soon and then we'll graduate and go our separate ways.

**Oikawa:** i wanted to go with you to university. I wanted to be wherever you were.

**Iwa-Chan <3:** sorry tooru.

**Oikawa:** hajime????

**Oikawa:** hajime i love you

The message was left on read, and for a moment, all Oikawa felt was numb. This couldn't be real. This was just a bad dream. He would wake up the next morning and go to school and fall into Iwaizumi's open arms.

But he knew that wasn't true. He knew that it was over and it was all his fault. He knew that the only comfort he would have for the rest of the night was the glowing stars on his ceiling and the silly alien plushies Iwaizumi had given him.

He laid back on his bed, on his dumb space-ship covered sheets. His pillows still carried the faint scent of Iwaizumi, and that scent brought back an overflow of memories. Memories of them laying in this very spot, wrapped in each other's arms, laughing at something nobody else in the world would understand.

His heart was decaying, shriveling like a rose and turning to worthless dust. He was empty.

\-------------------

"Good morning, Oikawa!" 

The temptation to ignore Kindaichi's kind call was strong, but Oikawa did his best to smile and wave. His breakup wouldn't affect his team. He wouldn't let it.

He set his bag down in the locker room in his usual spot. Iwaizumi was on the other side of the room, very clearly ignoring Oikawa's presence.

Oikawa changed robotically, going through the motions he was so used to. Every little thing he saw reminded him of Iwaizumi, which made the pain 100 times worse.

He foolishly believed he could fix all of this. He could fix everything.

He followed his teammates into the gym. They shared occasional glances with each other, wondering at why Iwaizumi and Oikawa were standing as far apart as possible. They didn't talk, they didn't look at each other. Oikawa was desperate to reach out, to beg Iwaizumi to just speak to him. 

A hand was planted on his shoulder and Oikawa glanced over to see Hanamaki gazing at him in concern.

"What's going on, captain?"

Oikawa just shook his head. "Go stretch."

"Oikawa."

"Nothing's going on."

"Then why aren't you all over your boyfriend like usual?"

"What boyfriend?" Oikawa muttered, shoving Hanamaki's hand off. 

"What? Oikawa what are you talking about?"

Oikawa ignored him. He went through his stretch routine and did his best to pretend that his teammates weren't staring at him like he was a dead dog. 

"Alright, team," he said, willing his voice to stay steady, "we're doing passing drills. Get with a partner."

Instinctively, he went to join Iwaizumi, but Iwaizumi was standing with Matsukawa, the two of them laughing and talking in quiet tones.

"Come on, shithead," Hanamaki said, grabbing Oikawa's wrist. "Staring at him isn't going to do anything. Give him space."

Oikawa followed him in a daze, similar to his entire morning. He remembered crawling out of bed, exhaustion and disbelief weighing him down. He remembered staring at the bags under his eyes in the mirror and his messy hair. He remembered walking out of the house blindly, following a trail so familiar to him that he didn't have to look at the ground. He remembered that Iwaizumi hadn't been waiting for him.

The passing drills lasted for almost the entire practice, then they worked on their serves. Oikawa couldn't help but stare at Iwaizumi's perfect form, his muscular build. His serves landed powerfully, hitting the ground before Watari could even react. 

All of Oikawa's serves were flukes. Most of them went out of bounds or they slammed into the net. On one of them, he tossed the ball up but couldn't even bring himself to hit it. It dropped to the ground with a disappointing thud, and he headed to the locker room before his teammates could say something about the embarrassment he had become. He began to change out of his clothes, keeping his breathing steady and forcing his tears not to fall. He was such a mess. An absolute, utter mess. 

The door opened and closed and he hid his head in his hands as some of the team filtered in. Nobody spoke to him, so he stood on weary legs and started to head for the door.

He didn't make it halfway there.

"Oikawa."

It was Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi was speaking to him.

Hope bubbled in his chest. Were they going to fix this? Were they going to cling to each other and sob?

"Here."

Iwaizumi was holding out an item of clothing that Oikawa didn't recognize at first. Then it hit him.

It was his Seijoh hoodie, the one with his number and name printed on the back. The one Iwaizumi stole from him and wore almost every single day.

Iwaizumi tossed the hoodie into Oikawa's face, then shoved past him and left the locker room.

"Oikawa?" Hanamaki asked gently.

He shook his head as a tear finally drifted down his cheek. Iwaizumi had taken his heart and tossed it into a volcano.

Matsukawa hurried past Oikawa and headed out the door after Iwaizumi. Hanamaki gripped Oikawa's arm and tugged him out of the gym. They walked in silence back to Oikawa's house, and he didn't protest when Hanamaki forced Oikawa to dit down on the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen, and a moment later he returned with a tub of chocolate ice cream and two spoons.

"Alright," Hanamaki said, sitting beside him. "Talk."

And Oikawa broke. Every single thing that had been stressing him out for the past month tumbled past his lips, and on top of that was his sob story of his boyfriend breaking up with him. He knew how pathetic he looked, he knew that he was acting like an embarrassment, and he knew that his team would be ashamed of him if they could see him right now.

"It's all my fault," Oikawa whimpered, shoveling another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. 

"Shh," Hanamaki said gently, rubbing Oikawa's back. "Just eat your ice cream."

Oikawa nodded, sniffling. Even if he wanted to speak again, he was 90% sure his words would come out in a pitiful jumble.

Iwaizumi had been his best friend for as long as Oikawa could remember. They had met when they were only five years old, after Iwaizumi moved into a house right down the street from Oikawa. Since then, they had been inseparable.

"You'll get over him," Hanamaki promised.

But deep down, Oikawa knew that wouldn't happen. How could he get over someone who had been by his side for his entire life? How could he just move on?

\------------

For the rest of the week, Oikawa couldn't bring himself to go to practice. In his mind, there really wasn't a point. He wouldn't gain anything from watching Iwaizumi do perfectly fine without him. In the halls at school, he avoided coming into contact with Iwaizumi, but he took any chance he could to glance over and make sure Iwaizumi was okay. It broke his heart just a little bit more to see Iwaizumi at lunch, sitting in a clump with some of the first and second years. They laughed together in such a carefree way that made Oikawa feel like he wasn't even part of the team anymore.

That day at lunch, a girl approached him. She was in his class, but he had no idea what her name was. She introduced herself as Akari and slid into the empty seat beside him.

"What?" he mumbled, picking at his nails.

"Are you free tonight?"

He shrugged. "Depends."

Akari's eyes narrowed and she gazed at him in an almost scary way. "Do you want to do something fun?"

She said the words innocently, but the corner of her mouth twitched up in a smirk.

"Such as?"

Akari slid a piece of paper with a phone number to him. Ignoring his question, she replied, "I'm not interested in you. I'm just bored." With that, she stood up and walked away.

Oikawa tucked the piece of paper into his pocket. He wasn't interested in the girl. He wasn't even interested in girls to begin with. And he knew he made very bad decisions when he was upset, and he knew he would regret this, but the idea of doing something intimate with someone that wasn't Iwaizumi made him feel a spark of welcome stubbornness. He'd show Iwaizumi that he would be just fine without him.

Oikawa looked over to the table where Iwaizumi was sitting and caught the boy's gaze. Their eyes met, and Iwaizumi's mouth fell open, his eyebrows lifting in surprise. Then, he shook his head and turned back to the rest of the Seijoh team. Oikawa pretended that that little bit of eye contact didn't make his heart crack even more.

The rest of the day was long and boring, and Oikawa didn't bother going to practice. Instead, he went home and sat on his bed, thinking of every single moment he had spent with Iwaizumi over the course of the years. They had been dating for a little over a year when Iwaizumi had broken up with him a week ago, but that wasn't technically when their relationship started. When they were younger, they had cuddled and held hands. It had seemed so innocent.

As they started to get older, they began to think about things like dating and kissing. At that point, Oikawa had already discovered that he was gay. Iwaizumi knew, of course, and he told Oikawa that he thought labels were dumb and that they could love whoever they wanted. That's when they kissed for the first time, and that's when Iwaizumi told Oikawa that he liked boys, too.

Years later, they started officially dating, which was unsurprising to the rest of the Seijoh team. They claimed that Oikawa and Iwaizumi had acted like a couple long before they made it official.

Oikawa started to strip out of his school uniform when a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. All at once, he remembered the encounter with Akari at lunch, and his fingers were dialing her phone number before he even knew what he was doing.

He told her to come over. She told him she would be there soon. 

And then she was there, and she didn't even try to talk to him before her mouth was on his, and in his heart, Oikawa knew this was _wrong,_ because her lips were too soft and too thin, and her hands on his body weren't like Iwaizumi's, and her breath in his ear was too feminine and pure. When she took off her clothes, he forced himself to compliment her, but her body wasn't the right one. Her body wasn't nice or pretty or perfect. Her body was skinny with a little bit of curviness, and her skin was too pale. She wasn't muscular or broad or strong. 

Oikawa had never had sex with a girl. He'd kissed girls, but it had never gone farther than that. His first time had been with Iwaizumi a month after they started dating, and he had promised Iwaizumi he'd never do it with anyone other than him.

The sex didn't feel right. It was awkward and slow and boring, and nothing like when Oikawa was with Iwaizumi. Akari seemed to be enjoying herself, calling out Oikawa's name between moans. 

This was so _wrong._ They didn't work together, and Oikawa forced himself to keep going, even when he was overwhelmed by discomfort and guilt. He shouldn't be doing this.

He shoved her off of him, and Akari frowned. "Why'd you stop?"

"I can't do this," he whispered.

She reached for her clothes. "Seriously?"

He nodded.

"You're a fucking scumbag."

Oikawa hid his face in his hands, and he was aware of her slamming his door closed and leaving the house. He couldn't bring himself to move or put clothes on. All he could do was sit there and cry because he wanted Iwaizumi back. He wanted to watch the stars with Iwaizumi. He wanted to call him and talk to him for hours on end about the dumbest things.

He wanted to take back every word he had said.

\-------

A week later, Oikawa's phone buzzes with the name "Iwa-Chan <3", and his dumb self thinks for a moment that perhaps the breakup had just been a bad dream. His heart was beating so fast, too fast. Iwaizumi was going to talk to him. Maybe Iwaizumi missed him.

He clicked on the text and it was yet another blow to his fragile heart.

**Iwa-Chan <3: **there's practice today. be there and stop skipping.

Oikawa wanted to reply, wanted to beg, but that would make him look weak, and looking weak wasn't going to bring Iwaizumi back to him. Instead, he didn't reply. He went to volleyball, and they played a three on three. Each time Iwaizumi called for the ball, Oikawa faltered and set it to their other team member, who was Kunimi.

After the match, Iwaizumi approached him. "Oikawa."

He took a deep breath and steeled himself before meeting Iwaizumi's eyes with one of his flawless, carefree smiles. Iwaizumi stared back, a mask of coolness shrouding his features. "Yes?"

"I know you're upset, but-"

"Upset?" Oikawa frowned. "What do I have to be upset about?"

"Don't do this," Iwaizumi hissed, lowering his voice. "Don't."

"No, tell me, Iwa-Chan. What could I possibly have to be upset about?"

Iwaizumi's stare was hard. He wasn't going to break. "Sorry things weren't working out, Oikawa. Don't let that affect the team."

Oikawa flashed another one of his model-status smiles. "Maybe you should just take the captain spot, Iwaizumi."

Iwaizumi flinched. "I don't want it."

Oikawa just shrugged. "If you do take it you won't have to worry about much. Graduation is right around the corner, and then you're gonna be going away to your own life."

Iwaizumi looked almost shocked at the fact that Oikawa was using his own words against him. He took a deep breath, and Oikawa noticed his whole body tensing. "You're not leaving the team over this, Oikawa. Volleyball is the most important thing to you."

"That's debatable," he mumbled, then forced himself to smile again. "See you later, Iwa-Chan. I'm gonna go hang out with this one friend."

Iwaizumi blinked at him and opened his mouth, then he slammed it closed and turned away. Oikawa headed into the locker room to grab his stuff, hefting his back up over his shoulder. When he picked up his phone, he was surprised to see a text Akari. It wasn't a nasty message. It seemed as if she had forgotten all about what had happened the previous week. Instead, her message said "i'm bored, let's have some fun." 

Oikawa wasn't a genius. He was smart, but he wasn't a genius.

But apparently today he was a fucking idiot, because he said, "my house. 10 minutes."

Oikawa drifted off to a different time and a different place when he was with Akari. He did as she asked and never once complained, even though the entire situation made him feel like nothing more than a piece of trash. Instead of trying to fix things with Iwaizumi, he was having sex with a girl who he didn't even care about.

This time, he didn't stop her. He let her finish, then she left after kissing him quickly and slipping into her clothes. He tried to lay back into his bed, but the sheets stunk like her perfume and her sweat, and he bundled them up into the washing machine. Then, he turned on the shower to the hottest temperature and stepped in.

The water scalded his skin, leaving harsh, red streaks all over his body. He didn't care. He wanted to wash her scent and her touch off of him. 

The shower was so hot now that the air was steamy, and Oikawa whimpered slightly, his skin raw. He washed quickly, then turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. On instinct, he reached for his phone, then remembered that there wouldn't be a text from Iwaizumi waiting for him. 

His phone wasn't even in the bathroom, he realized. He must have left it downstairs.

He headed back to his room after drying off, then he tugged on a volleyball t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts. 

"Tooru!" his mother snapped from downstairs.

Oikawa hadn't even realized she was home; he walked downstairs, hoping that his skin wasn't that red.

"The hell is this, Tooru?" his mother hissed, thrusting his phone into his face.

Oikawa squinted to make out the words, and realized with a sinking feeling, that she was holding up past texts with Iwaizumi. Explicit, private texts. 

"Mom, I-"

"You're fucking gay?"

He gulped.

"Tooru, I can't fucking believe you."

"We broke up."

"Excuse me?"

"I was dating Iwaizumi... and we broke up."

"Good," she snapped, slamming his phone down onto the countertop. "When your dad gets home, your life is going to become a living hell, you hear?"

"Mom, I don't have anywhere else to go, please-"

"We're not throwing you out. But perhaps we'll look into conversion camps or transferring schools."

"But it's almost graduation!"

She shook her head, disgust written all across her face. "I knew that boy was bad news."

"Iwaizumi?"

His mother nodded. "He's always been a brat."

Oikawa could've slammed her up against the wall and punched her. He could've screamed at her and told her she couldn't be more wrong. Iwaizumi was perfect. 

Instead, Oikawa looked down at the ground, shocked and numb. Everything seemed to be happening at once. He lost his boyfriend. He was losing his volleyball team. And now his parents knew he was gay and his life was going to be hell.

"Go to your room, Tooru," his mother sighed, handing him his phone. She looked exhausted.

Oikawa locked the door to his room and dug through his closet until he found what he was looking for. The hoodie Iwaizumi had given back to him.

It smelled just like him. It smelled like his sweat after practice and his dumb cologne and the pancakes that his mother always cooked for them.

Oikawa pulled on the hoodie and buried his face in it, and he wished that Iwaizumi could be here for him. He wished he didn't have to do this alone.

The truth was, Oikawa was afraid. He was scared of failing. He was scared of being alone and unloved forever. He was scared that things with Iwaizumi would stay the way they were right now.

The only thing that had ever been permanent in Oikawa's life was Iwaizumi. Other people came and went, but not Iwaizumi. It was like they were connected from the first moment they met. 

In middle school, he had completely wrecked himself, spending way more hours than he should have practicing volleyball. On those nights, Iwaizumi was by his side, reprimanding him for being a dumbass, then slinging an arm around Oikawa's shoulder to take him home.

In high school, when Oikawa injured his knee, Iwaizumi was by his side almost every hour of the day. He forced Oikawa to rest and stretch properly, and he made sure Oikawa didn't overwork himself.

Then they started dating.

Oikawa had known Iwaizumi for forever. He couldn't even begin to imagine his life without his precious Iwa-Chan. Even though they were most likely going to different colleges, there was no doubt that they would've stayed in contact. And after college, Oikawa knew he would move wherever he needed to, just so he could be close to Iwaizumi.

Now, he had no idea what to do. He didn't know where he would want to go or do. He didn't even know if his parents would help him through college.

Oikawa opens his phone and looks over those texts. Those texts had made him feel so alive back then. Now, they left a pit in the bottom of his stomach.

He thought about sending a text to Iwaizumi to tell him his parents knew, but there would be no point. Iwaizumi probably wouldn't respond anyway.

\-------

Another two weeks pass after the incident of Oikawa's parents finding out he's gay. His father was pissed and nearly landed a punch right in Oikawa's face. He told Oikawa to go to his room and stay there, and his parents hardly talked to him after that. He ate his meals in his room, and if he needed money, he wouldn't even bother asking.

Those two weeks passed in a blur, each day fading into the next. Nothing interesting happened, and the only words shared between Oikawa and Iwaizumi were relevant to volleyball and nothing else. Neither of them spoke about the breakup. Neither of them spoke about the bags under Oikawa's eyes or the unusual quietness of Iwaizumi.

Then, they bumped into each other in the hall. Oikawa hadn't been paying attention to where he was walking, since he was replying to a text from Akari. They'd become what she called "friends with benefits". Oikawa hated the term, but when she came over, he was temporarily sent to a different place where his worries about school, volleyball, his parents, and Iwaizumi didn't exist. It wasn't blissful, and he didn't enjoy it that much. It was just a distraction, one that only costed his dignity. After every time they met up, he was left with a feeling of hot shame, like he had betrayed Iwaizumi by having sex with someone else.

Iwaizumi's eyes flitted down to Oikawa's phone as they both awkwardly tried to move out of each other's way.

"Akari?" he asked.

Oikawa shrugged. "What about her?"

"You're texting her?"

He nodded.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. "You're not the only one that's hurt by our breakup, Oikawa."

"You don't really seem to be affected," Oikawa pointed out. 

Iwaizumi ran a hand over his face. "Why're you hanging out with her?"

Oikawa was tempted to lie because telling Iwaizumi the truth would do nothing but embarrass him. 

Before he could respond, Iwaizumi snatched his phone, eyes flitting over the texts written there. "Oh," he said.

Oikawa bit his lip.

"I guess you have moved on, then," Iwaizumi said. "I thought you were gay. Or were you lying about that?"

This conversation was too much. His sweater was too tight and his hands were too sweaty and his heart was racing too fast. "Iwa-"

"Have fun with her," Iwaizumi said, smiling somberly. "I won't be at volleyball tonight."

Iwaizumi walked away from Oikawa again, and just like the last few times, he left Oikawa's heart in a pitiful heap.

\--------

Skin on skin, sweat mixed with sweat, the occasional pants shared by Oikawa and Akari. He hated the feeling of being on top of Akari, of her hands on him, her lips on him.

Oikawa belonged to Iwaizumi. He didn't want this girl to touch him because only Iwaizumi should touch him.

They broke apart, and he fell onto the bed beside her. She grinned.

"See you tomorrow, love."

"Don't call me that," he snapped before he could think about it.

Akari's eyebrows spiked. "Why?"

"Akari... you know I'm gay, right?"

She laughed. "Yeah, dumbass."

"Then why hook up with me?"

"You're hot," she said, tugging on her bra. "And I'm bored."

"How... how do I get over my ex-boyfriend?"

Akari was just as surprised by those words as Oikawa was. But he wanted an answer.

She just shrugged. "Don't ask me."

"Would it make it better if I tried to be just friends with him?"

She laughed. "That's not going to work. You guys already broke up. Either get back together or stay away from each other. Why'd you even break up to begin with?"

"My parents are homophobic," he said, pulling on his underwear. "He didn't want to be the reason why they would hate me."

"You're kidding, right?"

Oikawa shook his head. "They found out that I'm gay, though."

"Your ex-boyfriend is as dumb as you are."

"Why's that?"

Akari sat beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Your parents are idiots for giving two shits about sexuality, and your ex is a dumbass for thinking it would be his fault."

Oikawa nodded. "I guess, but I said some shitty things to him."

"Everyone says shitty things. Man up and apologize, bro."

"I don't think he'd want me, even if I apologized."

Akari rolled her eyes. "It's worth a shot."

Oikawa wanted to apologize. He wanted to tell Iwaizumi that they were both being dumb.

But he couldn't even bring himself to set a ball to Iwaizumi during practice. He wasn't going to be able to apologize.

"I'm out," Akari said. "Apologize to your boy toy, and if things work out, let me know."

"I'm not apologizing, Akari."

"Suit yourself." She closed the door behind her as she left.

Oikawa reached for his phone. A text from Hanamaki was asking if he would be at practice, which started in less than an hour. As much as he wanted to skip and avoid Iwaizumi at all costs, he couldn't keep destroying his career over this. He responded that he would be there.

Half an hour later, Oikawa was stretching in the gym with Hanamaki. Hanamaki asked about Akari, well aware of their whole friends with benefits thing. Oikawa responded that he wasn't enjoying it and he wanted it to be over. He left out the part about feeling like he was cheating on Iwaizumi, who wasn't even his boyfriend anymore.

"Gather around, boys," the coach called, and the team surrounded him in a circle.

"Glad to see you here, Oikawa," he said. "We're having a practice match this weekend. I want all of you to be at your best for it."

"Who are we playing?" Kindaichi asked.

"Nekoma. They're a tough opponent."

The team nodded, and Oikawa clapped his hands, plastering a very fake smile on his face. "We can beat them."

And then Iwaizumi was laughing and said, "If you say so, Shittykawa."

And then they both froze and stared at each other because things hadn't been like that for over a month and a half. Oikawa had missed the sound of Iwaizumi's laugh. He missed the way Iwaizumi was always there.

He almost walked over to place his hands on Iwaizumi's hips and kiss him gently. He would've done that if they were still dating. It would've been so normal.

Instead, he turned and walked away. He wasn't sure if Iwaizumi was deliberately trying to upset him, or if Iwaizumi had just forgotten they were no longer together. Either way, those five words were a knife in his back.

\-----

For the rest of the week, Oikawa attended every volleyball practice. He was with his team once more, and that slowly started to take his mind off of Iwaizumi. It felt like old times, setting the ball up for his best friend. They were synched once more, and it was so easy to just forget that anything had changed.

And then, after practice, the memories would rush back, and Oikawa would go home and sob into his pillow like a child because his parents wouldn't even look him in the eye and the person he loved most in the world seemed to be doing just fine without him.

He stopped hooking up with Akari, and he acted like all those times hadn't made him feel like a piece of shit, but they had. Oikawa was a piece of shit. 

The practice match came too quickly, and Oikawa wasn't sure if he was ready.

Before matches, he could usually calm his nerves. But the last time they had had a match, he had still had Iwaizumi, and his nerves had been calmed with hugs and kisses and sweet words.

He could feel himself shaking as he stepped up to serve. It ended up being a service ace, which was unsurprising. He took a deep breath and did it again and again until finally, the other team received the ball and attempted to make an offensive play.

They were shut down by blockers and Oikawa served once more.

The game dragged on for a little while, but it was clear Nekoma wasn't going to be easy. They took the lead halfway through the set, and the Seijoh team worked twice as hard to try and beat them.

Oikawa could feel the pressure of his teammates resting on his shoulders. He had skipped practice for weeks. He had been a shit captain. If they lost, it would be his fault.

Nekoma took the first set, and Coach Irihata scolded Oikawa and his team members to work harder and get it together. Oikawa took a shuddering breath and was about to return to his position when someone placed a hand on his shoulder.

It was Iwaizumi, and he was gazing at Oikawa with eyes that pierced his very soul.

"Tooru."

Oikawa exhaled a shaky breath.

"It's a practice match. Don't beat yourself up this much."

Oikawa nodded. He wanted to say something. He wanted to offer something other than a pitiful display, but he couldn't.

"I know you can do this, Tooru."

Iwaizumi hardly ever called him Tooru. He used it on rare occasions and it always made Oikawa weak in the knees.

He followed Iwaizumi onto the court and took his position, still shaky and uneasy by the way Iwaizumi's eyes had looked as he gazed at Oikawa.

"Hey, Oikawa," Hanamaki said, smacking Oikawa's shoulder. "Get it together."

Oikawa nodded. "We're going to beat them."

Hanamaki grinned, then faced towards the net, ready to receive the ball.

The second set started out smoothly. The Seijoh team fell into a good routine and they were now in the lead, beating Nekoma 15-12. Oikawa was in the front row, and Hanamaki was serving. 

Nekoma sent the ball back in a standard attack, but Matsukawa was quick to receive the ball, sending it in a perfect arc above Oikawa's head.

The ball was just a little too far forward, but Oikawa ran up a little. He took a quick glance around, only to find that Mad Dog and Hanamaki were both stifled by blockers. His best bet was...

"Tooru!" Iwaizumi called out, running up from the back row.

And like always, that name destroyed Oikawa's composure. He wouldn't set it to Iwaizumi. Not when he was calling him by his first name.

Instead, the ball flew from his fingers in a millisecond as he twisted to send the ball to Kunimi, who had run up from the back row.

And then Oikawa fell to the ground and all he could see was blinding flashes of light and all he could feel was an overwhelming pain that left him feeling the need to scream out for help.

His knee. He hadn't stretched his knee properly and when he had come down from the set, he had landed wrong.

He clutched his knee to his chest and heard screaming. He heard someone telling other people to move, to get out of his way.

He wasn't even sure who it was until he felt familiar hands cupping his cheeks.

"Oikawa? Oikawa, come on, babe."

_Babe_. Iwaizumi always used to call him babe. Iwaizumi's hands were on his face. Iwaizumi was here.

Oikawa blinked and gasped, wincing as he tried to straighten his knee.

"Shh, don't move, okay?"

Oikawa met Iwaizumi's gaze and he shattered into a hundred thousand little pieces. The tears that he had been holding back for a month and a half poured down his face in an unrelenting current. He felt himself speaking but he didn't recognize the words falling past his lips. All he knew was that Iwaizumi was here.

Iwaizumi brushed tears off of Oikawa's cheeks. "It's gonna be okay. Don't cry."

Oikawa nodded, clinging to Iwaizumi like a lifeline. "Don't leave me."

A tear dripped from Iwaizumi's face onto Oikawa's, but he nodded. "I won't."

But then Iwaizumi was pulled away from Oikawa, and he was lifted onto a stretcher and the coach was gazing down at him in pity.

Oikawa closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain in his knee. All he could think about now was the look in Iwaizumi's eyes just moments before.

\-------

Oikawa didn't bother going back to the practice match after going to the nurse. She had given him a pill and some water, then told him he was going to need to rest for a while. No more volleyball for the rest of the school year.

He was disappointed, but he had nobody to blame but himself.

His mother picked him up from school so he didn't have to walk home, and he curled up in bed as soon as he got home.

On the ride to his house, his mom had questioned him about the injury, then she had made a comment about how one of the players said Iwaizumi had comforted Oikawa. 

"Stay away from him," she had said.

Oikawa had no intention of staying away from Iwaizumi. 

His parents didn't bother saying goodnight, and it was around 11:30 when Oikawa pulled on a pair of old shoes and his hoodie. He left out the back door and hurried down the road.

He reached Iwaizumi's house fairly quickly, only limping slightly. And like he had predicted, Iwaizumi was laying out in the grass in the backyard, his hands behind his head.

Oikawa closed the gate, making sure it made enough sound to alert Iwaizumi.

The boy opened his eyes and gazed at Oikawa for a moment before jumping to his feet. 

"You're supposed to be resting! What happens if you injure your knee further? Damnit, I leave you alone for only a little bit and you're already causing trouble."

Oikawa giggled because this was how Iwaizumi always was. This was how things should be.

"What are you doing here, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi wrapped an arm around Oikawa's waist and helped him to sit down beside Iwaizumi.

"My parents found out I'm gay," was the first thing he thought to say.

Iwaizumi blinked at him then buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry."

"Don't blame yourself, Iwaizumi. It was after we broke up."

"But how're you gonna get through college? Won't they throw you out? They'll disown you, Tooru."

"I have scholarship opportunities, Iwa-Chan. And I guess if they disown me it doesn't matter."

"How can you say that, Oikawa?"

He took a deep breath and turned towards Iwaizumi. "If they can't accept me, I'm going to find someone who will."

Iwaizumi's eyes widened. "Oika-"

"I know I said some really shitty things. But these past two months have been-"

Iwaizumi cut him off. "They've been the worst two months of my life."

Oikawa laughed. "Yeah. I agree."

Iwaizumi brought a hand up to rest on Oikawa's cheek. "You're not allowed to leave me again."

"Last time I checked, _you_ were the one who broke up with me."

Iwaizumi smirked. "Yeah, whatever." Then he leaned in and brushed his perfect lips against Oikawa's.

\-------

"It's my wedding day and you idiots won't shut the hell up," Oikawa whined, glaring at Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who were currently arguing over who knows what. Oikawa rolled his eyes and punched both of their shoulders. "Come on, help me get ready."

"The pretty princess needs help getting into his dress!" Hanamaki cackled, pinching Matsukawa's arm.

Oikawa pouted. "Guys, I'm serious!"

"Poor thing," Matsukawa smirked. "How's Iwaizumi going to put up with you for the rest of his life?"

"Maybe we should try to talk him out of it," Hanamaki suggested.

Oikawa crossed his arms and stomped to the other side of the room. "You two are so annoying."

"I wonder how Iwaizumi's feeling right now. He has to deal with Mad Dog and Yahaba."

"I hope Hajime is suffering just as much as I am," Oikawa cried. "Now come help me!"

Oikawa had never planned on wearing a wedding dress until Iwaizumi brought up how it would look nice on Oikawa. And that had made him decide that he would be wearing a wedding dress to get married.

Iwaizumi didn't know that Oikawa was going to wear a wedding dress, which made the whole thing even better. Matsukawa and Hanamaki had helped him pick it out, and had made unrelenting jokes about it for months.

His two best friends helped him into the dress and ushered him to look in a mirror.

He was beautiful.

Even in his own eyes, he looked at himself and saw someone who had been fighting for so long to get here and he was proud. This was his day.

"Alright, Shittykawa, it's time to go," Matsukawa said, grabbing one of Oikawa's elbows. Hanamaki took his other.

This wasn't a traditional wedding. Oikawa's parents pointedly refused to attend, so Oikawa was planning to walk down the aisle with his two best friends.

Honestly, he couldn't have asked for anything other than this. It was so perfect.

"Hey, Oikawa?" Hanamaki said as they started to make their way towards the door to the aisle. 

"What now?"

"You're going to be Iwa-Chan too."

Oikawa froze, glanced between Hanamaki and Matsukawa, and burst out laughing.

If you would've told ten-year-old Tooru that one day he would become Iwa-Chan, he would've burst out laughing. Now, it was the perfect way to start the next chapter in his life.

The doors opened in front of Oikawa and he saw Iwaizumi tense up, his eyes moving up and down, taking in the sight of Oikawa.

Oikawa started walking, and as he headed up towards the alter, he decided to leave everything behind. His parents, his insecurities, his past. All that mattered was here and now, with Iwaizumi gazing at him, unshed tears in his eyes.

Oikawa took his hands and gazed at the love of his life.

_I can't wait to spend forever with you_.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading my first fic <3,, make sure to leave Kudos if you enjoyed it,,, and this fic was inspired by one of my lovely friends who doesn't have an account, but once she does, I'll credit her here.


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